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Our wedding brought together two different cultures and traditions, resulting in three marriage ceremonies on a single day and two styles of receptions spread over two days. Love, and "till death do us part" aside, our hectic wedding schedule was incentive enough to get rid of any ideas of getting married again!

I'm Getting Married In The Morning...
... really early in the morning at that! The Cerejo family set off at 7 am IST in a Sports Utility Vehicle (SUV) heading for Mugdha's home in Thane for the Kanyadaan (traditional Indian giving away of the bride). Each of us were given the traditional Indian welcome by Mugdha's parents and Aishwarya (Mugdha's sister-in-law), followed by a breakfast, which I barely picked on because of my excitement. MehndiSince the ceremony was to be performed in Sanskrit (ancient Indian language), their family guruji (Hindu minister) had to officiate and the people involved had to repeat key phrases after him - most of which was beyond our comprehension either, but he was nice enough to translate and explain. Mugdha and I wore traditional Indian outfits for this ceremony - Mugdha wore a bright yellow saree and I was dressed in a kurta pajama that was bought specially for the occasion. If you look closely at Mugdha's hands and feet, you'll see the henna design - again a traditional Indian design that is painstakingly painted by hand, and takes hours to complete.
I remember the night before the wedding when my family and close relatives were decorating the house till late, and my nieces (Ira and Anandi) refused to sleep because of all the excitement. I barely managed to catch 40 winks after trying to scrape the henna from my hand (if I washed it off instead, the design would have faded). When I woke up on the 28th, the world seemed so beautiful. Lyndon and his family arrived on time and once the ceremonies started, I knew that the day would fly by...

The Ties That Bind
Kanyadaan The giving away of the bride, traditionally carried out during the Kanyadaan was symbolically represented by Mugdha's mum pouring water into her father's palms which then flowed into mine and then into Mugdha's palms. I also put a mangalsutra on Mugdha - a special gold necklace with black beads that married Indian women wear. There was also the traditional exchange of gifts (clothes) between both families to mark this joyous occasion. Mugdha's guruji finally wrapped two threads around the two of us, which were later tied around our wrists with some turmeric (we're still trying to trace its symbolism). Little did we know then that we had to open each others' bands the next day using just one hand - we could have made tied the knots accordingly! We then exchanged big garlands, completing the Indian wedding ceremony.

Out Of The Limelight
Civil Ceremony The Kanyadaan was then followed by a civil marriage. Instead of the entire wedding party trooping to the court a few miles away to complete the civil ceremony, we had the civil court come to us. For a price (including some under the table), we had the official come to Mugdha's house where we were civilly married under the Special Marriage Act (an Indian marriage act for marriages involving different faiths - more about it in the mixed marriage page). This is when we experienced what bureaucracy and civil babu means. You had to be there to believe this - but the official expected and demanded to be treated like a king, while the two of us were just a side act - on our own wedding day! But putting up with him was worth not having to venture out in the pouring rain, and we were happy when the second ceremony ended. Our wedding lunch was a specially catered traditional meal with Maharashtrian fare, which ended up being the only full meal we ate that day. A teary farewell followed, and Mugdha officially left the Laghate household with us as we headed back to the Cerejo residence at Dadar, where I carried her over the threshold.
The two marriage ceremonies were over before I knew it. I suddenly felt sad that I was leaving behind the Laghate name and household. The 'bidaai' (farewell) was a tearful one. When we reached Dadar, I wondered why Lyndon was so insistent that we not enter his house until his family had. I was pleasantly surprised when Lyndon carried me over the threshold of the Cerejo home. My new family made me feel more than welcome in their cozy nest!

"Get Me To The Church On Time..."
Portuguese Church The Church ceremony was our final wedding ceremony for the day (and our lifetime!) and was to be held in the parish where I was christened, baptised and confirmed - Our Lady Of Salvation Church (more commonly / colloquially known as Portuguese Church). Ours being a mixed marriage, we had to separate the nuptials and the mass, and created a special liturgy. Since we got home from Thane less than two hours before our nuptials, we had to race against time to squeeze in showers, make-up, Mugdha's hairdo and getting ready.

For the church ceremony, and the reception that followed, I wore a suit (we don't do tuxedos in India), but finalizing Mugdha's outfit was a saga in itself - a painful memory we are still trying to put behind us. Mugdha finally wore a sea blue sharara (an elaborate three-piece outfit consisting of a blouse, flared long skirt that falls to the ankle and a long scarf). My Mum designed the floral bouquet and a dainty tiara with a veil for her headdress.

We men have it easy getting dressed, but the time crunch coupled with the makeup and hairdo for Mugdha made the minutes fly. Knowing my Dad was in charge, I didn't have to keep an eye on the clock. Time refused to slow down for us, and even though the photographer was ready, we weren't. When we were finally ready for him, it was 4:40 pm, and our nuptials were scheduled to start at 4:45 pm! My dad, being a stickler for time, literally sweated it out, and the tiny clock behind him explains those beads of sweat. Inspite of that, you can see the happiness on his face as he blessed and wished us. We reached the church 10 minutes late, but the fact that we were in the IST timezone (Indian Stretchable Time, not Indian Standard Time), and it was our wedding after all, no one seemed to mind. I no longer wonder why someone had to write a song about getting to the church on time for his own wedding!
I had never had a professional make-up and hairdo, so that was a wee bit weird for me. The hairdresser and I didn't agree on a few details, but everyone was tensed about making it on time to Church, so I gave in and even let her apply wine colored lipstick (I hate anything other than light lipsticks). However, the memory that still remains strong in my mind is that Jenny, my hairdresser, came to the reception hall on her own accord to touch up my makeup and hair - and that was extremely sweet of her. In India, money isn't always a motivating factor for good service.

We were welcomed at the doors of the church by the bishop and three priests who concelebrated our wedding mass. The Parish Priest first officiated the nuptials where we dedicated our lives to one another and exchanged vows and rings. I'll never forget the feeling when I said "I Do" - suddenly all the pain and hurt that Mugdha and I had been through suddenly seemed so insignificant, so immaterial, that it was wiped out for that moment in time. The only thing that mattered then was that we finally made it to the altar and our future was ours to create. The nuptials concluded with the lighting of the unity candle - not very common for Catholic weddings in India. The narrator explained how our individual candles were being lit by our parents to signify the values, beliefs and traditions they had passed on to us. We had a personalized unity candle inscribed with the verse you saw on the homepage, along with our names and the date. Lighting the unity candle was a symbolic fusion as we built our new lives together, but we didn't extinguish our individual candles, since we still retain our individualities, including our difference in religion.
I was thrilled that my parents and a few close relatives could attend our Church wedding. Lyndon's family and relatives were delighted to share this beautiful day with us, and made sure that one of my Dad's ex-colleagues was at Mass to explain anything my parents needed to know.

Holy CommunionThe first reading at Mass was a Bible passage from 1 Corinthians 13 about love and which contained our verse, while the Gospel reading was about marriage - what God had joined together, let no one put asunder. Since Mugdha and her family could not receive holy communion, the bishop individually gave them each a rose bud, while the rest of us received communion. I said the thanksgiving prayer, grateful for God's blessings this far, and praying for His guidance as we started our new life together. After the mass ended, the congregation sang "Showers Of Blessing" for us as we signed the marriage register. Their prayers were literally answered with a heavy shower of rain outside. Thankfully, the only showers we got were of the blessing kind, since the rain subsided just before we headed out for the reception hall.



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